In a world where tattoos are often perceived as a symbol of freedom and self-expression, there exists a dark side to this culture – forced tattoos, which have become instruments of control and humiliation. In the Netherlands, in the city of Rotterdam, the Spijt van Tattoo foundation operates, helping victims of domestic violence remove violent tattoos left by their abusers. This is not just a medical procedure; it’s a path to liberation, restoration of dignity, and reclaiming one’s life.
Joke’s Story: From Humiliation to Freedom
53-year-old Joke is one of hundreds of women helped by the foundation’s specialists. Her story is shocking even to those accustomed to the cruelty of domestic violence. For several years, her partner kept her isolated, locking her in trailers and sheds, and forcibly tattooed her body with over 250 tattoos. He believed that if another man touched her, she had to be “marked.”.
He tattooed his name on her face – on her forehead, nose, cheeks, chin, even her eyelids. When Joke finally managed to escape, her body became a constant reminder of her suffering. She felt humiliated, stigmatized, and afraid to go outside. “Everyone looks at you and insults you. They say you’re stupid, crazy. And you have nothing. You feel so small,” Joke told AFP.
Through the national organization Veilig Thuis (“safe at home”), which helps victims of domestic violence, Joke found the Spijt van Tattoo foundation. This was the first step on a long and painful path to healing. Over two and a half years, she underwent 12 sessions of laser tattoo removal from her face. The pain was so intense that it required anesthesia from a plastic surgeon. Today, thanks to makeup, the tattoos on her face are almost unnoticeable. Joke says she has reclaimed her life.
“It hurts like hell. It takes so much strength to remove all of it… but you can’t imagine how happy it makes you. I could never have imagined it,” she shared. She battled suicidal thoughts for 18 months, but removing her abuser’s name from her face “freed” her. “I can be happy about anything. If the weather is good – great. Even if it rains, I feel cozy inside. Now everything makes me happy. It gives hope. And hope keeps you alive.”
Bonnie’s Story: Reclaiming Her Body
Bonnie (name changed to protect her identity) experienced abuse at 17. Five years later, on her partner’s birthday, he presented her with a “twisted gift” – he forced her into a tattoo parlor where she was tattooed with the word “property” and his name directly over her genitals. She tried to signal to the tattoo artist that she did not consent, but her partner’s dominant presence ensured the procedure went ahead.
Afterward, he brought friends home and made her show off the fresh tattoo. “He was very proud. I belonged to him. And now I am his property. And I will remain his property,” recalled Bonnie, who is now 42. “I only felt sadness, humiliation, fear, disgust… pride in his eyes. I belonged to him. And to no one else. I never felt so bad, so dirty.”
She endured over ten years of abuse, death threats, and promises to kidnap her children. When he started hitting her son, she realized she had to leave. “Those who have never experienced such relationships cannot understand how difficult it is to escape. They threaten, manipulate, make you doubt yourself. That you can’t do anything. That you are useless. They make you so small,” Bonnie said.
Unlike Joke, who quickly decided to remove the tattoos, Bonnie came to this decision several years later. Initially, she considered covering them up but realized the text and ink would still remain. “Then my body would still be a part of him, and that’s not it.” For a while, she couldn’t even shower because she couldn’t look at her body and the tattoo. “I felt like my body was so dirty that I didn’t want to clean it. Because you carry all those years with you.”
Like Joke, the tattoo removal process became part of her recovery. “I am very proud of myself for taking this step. For me, it’s the first step towards closing one of the most painful chapters of my life. It’s a step towards freedom, healing, reclaiming my body, my life, and finding myself again without shame.”
Founders of the Foundation: Andi and Dex Han
The driving force behind the foundation is the charismatic couple, Andi and Dex Han, who have been in the tattoo removal business for 30 years. In 2018, they decided to dedicate one day a week to pro bono work, removing forced tattoos from victims of domestic violence or other forms of coercion. Projects range from removing an initial on a finger to helping victims of sex trafficking whose “lovers” tattooed their names on their foreheads.
Even the experienced professional, Andi Han, was shocked when he first saw Joke. “I’ve seen a lot, but this was so extreme. I didn’t know where to look. Her chest, face, eyes, nose – everything was covered with his name. I didn’t know where to start,” said the 64-year-old Andi. There were also financial challenges. Tattoo removal is ten times more expensive than tattooing and depends on the surface area.
Joke had so much ink on her face that one session would have cost as much as a full year of pro bono work, Han calculated. By the time his work with Joke is completed, it will have cost approximately €100,000. A fundraising campaign for her raised over €30,000. But the couple decided they had to help, regardless of the cost.
“We said, listen, this is someone’s daughter too. Someone’s sister, someone’s friend. And she doesn’t have a life. We have to help her,” Han told AFP. “When you see the before and after photos, it’s extraordinary. And so is her personality,” he added. The couple has already expanded their operations beyond Rotterdam to The Hague and Amsterdam and plans to open a branch in Cape Town to help former gang members.
The Global Scale of the Problem
In the slums, if you have tattoos on your face and hands, you can’t leave the area. They will shoot or stab you. They will kill you if you are in the wrong neighborhood. They need this too, because then you can help people change their lives,” explained Han.
Han believes that the dozens of inquiries and referrals he receives are just the tip of the iceberg. Kylianne Theuben, a behavioral scientist working at Veilig Thuis, said that forced tattooing, like many other forms of domestic violence, is difficult to detect because the evidence can be “hidden under clothing.”
She urged anyone in such a situation to seek help – “please come out, otherwise we cannot help you.” “It’s important that they know they are not alone and that there is help. So, try to seek help when you are ready. There are organizations that help,” said Theuben.
A Message for Other Victims
Both Joke and Bonnie expressed the same message – leave, no matter how difficult it seems. “It’s easier said than done, I know that very well… but don’t be afraid,” said Bonnie when asked what message she had for other women in her situation. “If you can stay in such a relationship for so long, you are an incredibly strong person. That means you are also strong enough to leave it and choose yourself.” “Because it’s your life. And you only have one life,” she said, her voice trembling with emotion.
Joke said she is sharing her experience to encourage other women to leave abusive relationships. “Just do it. It can’t be worse than where you are now,” she said. “You can do it. You are not weak. He is weak. And every woman can do it. Women are strong.”
Expert Analysis: Tattoos as a Tool of Control
Forced tattoos are not just physical damage to the skin. They are psychological weapons used to establish power and control over the victim. In the context of domestic violence, such tattoos become symbols of ownership, humiliation, and a constant reminder of suffering. They can be placed in the most intimate areas, intensifying feelings of shame and helplessness.
The removal of such tattoos is not merely a medical procedure. It is an act of restoring dignity, reclaiming control over one’s body and life. For many victims, it is the first step towards healing, towards feeling like human beings again, not objects.
The Spijt van Tattoo foundation demonstrates how tattoo culture can be used not only for self-expression but also for healing. It is an example of how professionals can use their skills to help those who need it most. Their work is not just about removing ink; it’s about returning life.
Hope and Strength
The stories of Joke and Bonnie are not just stories of suffering. They are stories of strength, courage, and hope. They show that even after the most severe trauma, a path to healing can be found. Their message to other victims is: do not be afraid, you are not alone, you are strong, and you can do it.
In a world where tattoos are often seen as a symbol of freedom, it is important to remember that for some, they become a symbol of enslavement. But with the help of organizations like Spijt van Tattoo, even the deepest wounds can be healed. And life can be returned.